今日，我想鄭重同大家講，我同你已經玩完，GAME OVER! 我知你最討厭我說話時夾雜很多的英語。但是，我就是我，我不會再因為你而去改變自己，去做一個你口中的那個人。
我與你根本就是兩個世界的人。你一個人講普通話用殘體字，你要我全家就你講普通話，還把我家裡的電腦、電視 menu、甚至手提電話都 set 為殘體字。講真，殘體字真的很核突，我看多眼也眼冤。有時，細佬口快說了廣東話，你就大罵我們全家是狗，是前女友的人，是雜種。其實，我在家只想舒舒服服，我口講我心而已，這卑微的要求過份嗎？
還有你用廁所的習慣，好人好者，有暖氣的廁所板你不坐，就是要踎上去為什麼？練輕功麼？你從內地來的親朋戚友來了，我也招呼。他們不知是人是狗就是要隨地痾。我家的 King Charles 也懂在報紙上去，你的朋友怎麼這點也不懂。他們還越來越多了，甚至住了下來。本來我一家四口在這四百呎的小屋還可以，誰知你的親朋戚友弄得我一家十八姓，害我被老廉請回去喝藍山咖啡！
Declaration of my singleton
I seldom talk about my love life as I am not a good boyfriend.
Today, I hereby announce to everyone that I have finished it with you. We are GAME OVER! I know that you hate that I mix with a lot of English words when I speak. However, that is me, I shall not change myself and become the person you want me to be.
At first, when we got together, I could say I was kind of forced to. At that time, my British ex-girl friend left me and you appeared and said, “She does not want you anymore, why do you still need to cry?” I did not cry. In these years, the more I am with you, the more I miss my British ex-girl friend. I still feel dejected when we said goodbye in the Queen’s Pier, she cried like a baby. I hate myself that I did not have the courage to tell her to stay.
Now, nothing can be mended. You know it so well that because of you, I shall never be back together with my British ex-girl friend. You once said arrogantly to me, “Without me talking care of you, you are dead!” I really did believe in this for the past 15 years. In the past 15 years, you tried your best to put me down and said nasty things to make me feel I was useless. And, you further said you could easily find a better Shanghai or Beijing guy to replace me. I don’t want argument as I am a peaceful sensible and non-violent kind of guy. I have put up with you.
You are a salesperson of that Diamond Full Power Water thing and my whole family bought the water from you to show support. Once, my mother wanted to buy a watertap distiller and you went absurd! You scold my whole family for not being grateful and even threatened to cut off our water supply! I am not stupid. The Malaysian girlfriend of my Singaporean neighbour told me that you sold the water to my family 200 times more expensive. We did not confront you, we swallowed it whole. I don’t even want to mention that I had to pay you back for all the “gifts” you bought for my family. After all, it is just a fair business deal.
You and I are really from two different worlds. You speak Mandarin and write simplified Chinese. You forced my whole family to speak Mandarin. You changed the language settings of my TV, DVD and even mobile phone. Honestly, simplified Chinese look so ugly that I don’t even want to lay an eye on it. Sometimes, my younger bro would slip one or two words of Cantonese. What you did was shout and yell at us that we are the running dogs of my ex-girlfriend or bastards. To be frank, I just want to have no pressure at home and speak from my heart, is it too much to ask for?
I also don’t understand your toilet habit too. Why don’t you just sit down on that comfortable automatically warm-up seat but squat on it? Are you practising your Kung Fu on my toilet? When you have friends from your country, we also greet them with our warmest welcome and accomodate them. However, why some of your friends shat and pissed anywhere like dogs? Even my little puppy, King Charles, is toilet trained to do the business on a piece of papers. Worse, more and more your friends and relatives come to my home. That little 400 square feet apartment was barely enough for my family and now your turned it to be like a hotel with 17 different surnames of people. Thanks to you, the ICAC of Hong Kong invited me for a coffee for suspicion of corrupting the election.
My dad is too kind and always defended you saying girls are to be spoiled. Bullshit! He spoiled you to be this sassy unreasonable person! Why only you were allowed to take pictures in front of D&G? Why dad gave you the discount card of Mannings store? Why dad change the driver seat to left for you? Why do we need to pay for all the expenses of your babies whose fathers are unknown to us?
Today, I will want a break up. I shall spend 15 minutes to look at these broken pieces and discover that the present broken-hearted me is the most beautiful and this broken relationship is the most gorgeous thing in the world I have seen. The sobbing of your crying is the prettiest sound I have ever heard. As you said the worst thing in this world might not be the worst because the worst might have already be right in front of you and THAT IS YOU, BITCH!